Dear person who steals my underwear,
Why? Why do you do this? And why only my black underwear. I need these pairs, too, you know. Do you have a crush on me? I mean, I'm flattered, but you can just leave me a note or something. You don't have to take my underwear. That's just gross. Or are you a man who likes women's underwear and just chose to steal mine? Wouldn't you rather have pairs that haven't been worn? Honestly, there's a sale on at the Bay. Not too expensive. If I can afford them, I'm sure you can as well. So stop. Please.
Yr pal,
Sarah
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